As for our ethnic heritage, all of us bring it with us. It natural for it to interact with our sexuality. It’s just one of those things-like class- no one wants to talk about in the US.

I’m very happy to hear about how your mother is being supportive. We need more allies like her in the Italian American community, people willing not just to honor community but also stand up with and for us.

I, more than any other of my BGLT friends, really seek out a sense of community and shared experience. I never attributed this to my Sicilian ways, but of course, that makes perfect sense! Very eye-opening.

I really struggle with the reality of being raised Catholic in a tightly knit family that doesn’t talk about sex or relationships. My aunt came out as a lesbian a few years back (to me and my mother) and I know she has a deep concern about discussing it with other members of the family. They just “didn’t know her that way.” My mother – blessedly – is very open-minded and very supportive of BGLT issues. She even marched with my aunt in Washington October 11. I, sadly, couldn’t make it. I wish that I could be Catholic. That I could accept my Catholicism as easily and simply as I did in my youth. But I can’t seem to do that now because the Church is so unsupportive of our BGLT sisters and brothers. It’s really hardened me to that faith.

I’ve never really sat down to think about how my ethnic heritage influences my bisexuality and vice versa. I am also blue-eyed and with a naturally lighter brown hair that is often dyed a darker brown. I don’t “look” Sicilian either, though I think I am rather Sicilian in personality and temperament and this does seem to be recognized by other people. I sense that people don’t understand what it means for me to be Sicilian, in the same way that they don’t understand what it means for me to be bisexual. That I am proud to be both and that I cherish both for the experiences that they have brought me and the ways in which they enrich my life. Since I am married, most people want to cast aside my bisexuality as irrelevant. Since I am only half-Sicilian and not that close to my extended family at this time, most people want to denounce my Sicilianism as irrelevant – the musings of a nostalgic American grasping for something real and interesting about herself. It’s quite offensive on both counts.

As an Eastern European American I can totally relate to this. I wish my culture had more BLGT stuff too, but it’s very hush hush there too, mostly b/c of Catholicism. The reverse also seems to be true of what you described in the BLGT community. As for looking Italian-I’ve been to both north and south Italy, and I saw plenty of people who looked like you, especially in the north. When people say you don’t “look Italian” they really need to educate themselves that there is much more to it than just “one way” to look.

Great article, as always!