Invitation to a Bash

“Have fun having gay sex!” The comment was spat at me in anger. “Because that’s the only sex you’re going to get!” The anger was clear and the statement dripped with the venom of hate. The fact is, though that in the midst of a fight words are often thrown about without thinking—the problem is, once they’re out there, you can’t take them back. When those words were hurled at me in the midst of a fight, that had nothing to do with anyone’s sexuality, I literally stopped in my tracks. Dumbfounded doesn’t begin to describe how it made me feel. I literally felt like I’d been gay bashed.

Being bisexual, gay bashing, or “bi” bashing is a real risk. The lifestyle incorporates the dreaded same sex relationship—as such bisexual people are subject to the same ridicule and hate experienced by their homosexual counterparts. In this instance, outlined above, the slur came from a trusted loved one and as such, it became very important to me be clear on what a gay or “bi” bash is : Bashing as it relates to the BLGT community, is any sort of verbal confrontation with, denigration of, or physical violence against people thought to be bisexual, lesbian, gay or transgendered. It is considered a hate crime—usually the result of homophobia.

Our culture is unfortunately filled with examples—among the more famous is Matthew Shepard, the student at the University of Wyoming that was murdered as part of a bash. The character Justin in the popular homosexually centered drama Queer as Folk, was the victim of a gay bash at the end of the show’s first season. Homophobia, however, has existed since long before Matthew Shepard and Queer as Folk. In the 40s and 50s, for example, homophobia was rampant as explained in the book The Lavendar Scare by historian David K. Johnson.

The Lavender Scare helped fan the flames of the Red Scare. In popular discourse, communists and homosexuals were often conflated. Both groups were perceived as hidden subculters with their own meeting places, literature, cultural codes, and bonds of loyalty. Both groups were thought to recruit to their ranks the psychologically weak or disturbed. And both groups were considered immoral and godless. Many people believed that the two groups were working together to undermine the government.

With the sheer amount of information and studies that have been done—with the President pushing to repeal Don’t Ask, Dont Tell – with many states instituting changes to legislation to be more inclusive of same sex couples, it’s easy to trick one’s self into believing that bashing is uncommon, or at least becoming less common than it was during the Lavender Scare. Searching for “gay bash” in any popular search engine will tell a different story. In fact, it will tell hundreds of thousands of different stories. There are articles available on Wikipedia and other information outlets throughout the web. There are videos on YouTube, news Articles and blogs—the internet does not disappoint in providing information about bashing.

From the 40s through the 90s and Matthew Shepard, into my own reality, there have been many cases of bashing. Sometimes, bashing is really subtle a comment made here or a remark made there—other times it is very invasive, a punch or a kick or even a murder. No matter the reason, the implication is that sex with a member of the same sex is somehow wrong or inferior when compared to “traditional” sex. Whether it is statements hurled in anger or fists thrown in fear, it makes the bisexual lifestyle one that isn’t safe. It makes bisexual people and the entire BLGT community as a whole victims of a cruel type of discrimination. As long as this discrimination—this apparent lack of safety, exists, the closet will be very comfortable, safe and warm with its door firmly shut offering its protection to many in the BLGT community that live in fear of being on the receiving end of bashing. And who would blame them? For others, especially those that have been bashed—the battle rages on and each uses the weapons at their disposal to fight back. To them, I dedicate this entry.