Loading...
Dating a Bisexual: Should Straights, Gays or Lesbians Go for It?
August 23, 2009 by Bi Social Network
Filed under Bi News, Bisexual & LGTQ News, Spotlight
Many in the straight, gay and lesbian community are afraid of the big “B” word—Bisexual. Would you date a bisexual? The biases might surprise you.
The hot topic of the moment—not withstanding, First Lady, Michelle Obama’s shorts dilemma—should straight women and lesbian women date a bisexual?
Being a bisexual myself, I find this topic of discussion very humorous. Really, the very same groups who say, ‘its love,’ rights for choice—wouldn’t this fall in line with dating anyone?
I hear it all the time on the streets of Chicago—from the BLGT community that they “tried’ it once, but just couldn’t get over the fact that bisexuals like the opposite sex. Granted, if you are not into it, it can be a hard sell—sort of like udon (Japan noodle) or sushi…I get it. But stop to think; is it really all that different?
In relationships, everyone has had a partner they dated and for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. Do you get upset because they dated someone before you? Of course not! It’s just apart of their past.
They Might Leave Me for Another Man
Well, sorry to state the obvious, but they can leave you for another woman too! Relationships are complicated all by themselves. The fear is internal—it has nothing to do with the person you are dating. If they really truly love you, it shouldn’t matter what partner they had in the past. It’s behind them—they are focusing on you.
They will Never be Satisfied with Just Me
I see a pattern here. Is this something you might be thinking for every relationship you are in—or just bisexuals? Reason, what motives do you think your partner isn’t happy with the relationship you have? It’s true, that there are open relationships popping up all around the world—but this has been since the beginning of time. We puritans (Americans), like to have the one partner—but lets say Japan, there is no divorce—you know why? Because, everyone is having it on the side! (Yes, I’ve lived there for two years—I know)
What Works for One, doesn’t Work For All Bi’s
Just think, some politicians are straight, but they seem to be acceptable to the open marriage rule. It’s only means that you and your partner need to decide what will or won’t work out for the two of you. Generalities don’t play in the whole scheme of the bisexual community. What works for one, may not work for all. Find that special person you can love with your whole heart and mind, and work from there. Love manages a way.
Mata ne,
—
Adrienne Williams is a Columnist for BSN under the name—“Rants of the Bisexualist,” and Creative Director of BSN. You can email her at bsn@biscoailnew.com for more information or questions.
Bio: Adrienne Williams:
Adrienne Williams founded Bi Social Network in 2008, which showcases niche bisexual content in entertainment, social media, publishing, workshops and events. Adrienne also produces a monthly radio show called ‘Bi Talk’ and is reaching out to the community, to promote a year long Bi-visibility PSA Campaign effort; to educate the public on issues surrounding bisexuality and to bring tolerance and understanding to all.
|
Here’s the deal: bisexuals make both gays and straights nervous. Simply because of this: inside most straight people is a gay one and inside most gay people is a straight one. That scares people because it blows the “gay gene” theory all to hell.
I think you make a valid point. I do feel that homosexuality and bisexuality (and all the others too!) do have a genetic basis, but I also think most of humanity has a predisposition towards bisexuality, or at least bisexual behavior, and it’s “turned up” more in some people than others. Who was it who said “homosexuality was invented by a straight world dealing with its own bisexuality?” I definitely [think] there is something to that. I think we’ve all got the “gene”-it just acts in different ways on different people.
excellent article..
“They will Never be Satisfied with Just Me” – great point. When I told a friend of mine that I was bi she said that she thought her bf was very bi curious and that bothered her alot. She told me that she could NOT date a bi or bi curious guy because she felt that even though she could satisfy him to the best of her ability she was afraid that she could not satisfy his needs. He will always seek out more – like another man.
I told her that if its just the penis he is seeking that she can always buy a strap on. Her could not do that plus she thought it would still not satisfy him.
Since this conversation I’ve heard that from many women. I guess it is a common feeling but is it a common problem among bi men? In order for a bi man to have a successful marriage, does he need to be married to a bi woman?
Glad you liked the article.
I don’t know about that. I don’t think it has anything to do with the personal sexuality, more so as the person level to be open. Just like straight men can go around and cheat on their spouse or gf, so too can any group, including the bi male. Ask your friend, does she think he’s a cheater? Because that is the issue. If she was dating a straight man, would she worry about him cheating on her with another woman? Seems she’s the one with the issues and low self-esteem, if she’s worried about something that hasn’t happened yet. Focus on the love and the commit the partnership brings and not the other’s body parts.
Adrienne, BSN
yes